Impending zombie apocalypse stories abound in the news this week after that face-eating freak show in Miami.
What does this mean? An unbelievably good excuse to buy more shootin’ gear, just in time for Father’s Day! I mean, really, could the timing be any better?
Firearms are, of course, useless without ammo. Luckily, Hornady has been pimping their “zombie max” line of hollow points for a few months now. Almost like they knew this day would arrive. No word on similar promos from the Twinkies people.
As a great man once said, “Thank God for rednecks!”
And I’ll need bacon. Lots and lots of bacon. Good thing they make it tactical style in a peel-off bulk can.
The final nail in the coffin -ahem – CDC duly denies an imminent zombie outbreak. Of course they would – that’s how civilization-killing plagues always start, don’t ya know?
Time to face facts: The Walking Dead isn’t just a TV show, it’s a training film.
Or a clever marketing gimmick…